Tag Archives: girls who lift

Am I a Butterfly Yet?

Eat, eat, eat, hibernate, pupate & break free…those beautiful wings all flapping about.  Yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh.  Wait, what?

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Peacock Butterfly.  Photo taken by me Aug 2013

Butterflies are awesome.  That’s not what this post is about, but please….enjoy the image.

When you’re ready to continue, I’ll be down here……….

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OH HAI!

Today a fellow xxfitness user asked for progress pictures for inner thighs & I thought I’d oblige.  I’ve attempted to steer clear of the progress images for the last few weeks, so used one from September; which gave a nice 1 year-ish progress timeline.  Now, that might not sound like a huge deal – I’ve shared plenty of progres pictures.  No.  This was different.  This time I used my before picture without the feeling of cringe that usually goes with it.  I will forever quote “That arse will haunt me forever” whenever Andy uses one of my before images.  It was embarrassing to see it & I felt sick to my stomach as I’d denied my “true” size for many years, but it was ok…..cos it was only a dress size up to what I’d been for years previous; or that’s how I rationalised it & that I was only gonna live once & those who eat healthy only live longer cos they’re miserable, so it *feels* longer.

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Castle tries to explain, but realises it’s pointless…..

Ahahhaaaaa!!  I did. I REALLY did rationalise my shit lifestyle on utter garbage.  I’d like to find that other self & give her a slow clap for how awful that information & justification was.

Anyway, before I get off point.

Butterflies!

The biggest I’ve ever been was about a UK18/20.  I couldn’t tell you how much I weighed though, sorry.  I have no idea.  I just remember going to buy trousers after I’d had my son & thought “the extra weight from creating life must be gone by now” It wasn’t. I bought my trousers, defeated but I was sick of maternity gear & cried. I’d become everything I never wanted to be. I wasn’t at breaking point though.  These trouser fit nicely & although the tag size was larger than I’d have liked, I’d been through this baby weight loss before & I won’t have to do much to get back to a 12/14 right? WRONG.  I’d moved house so walking didn’t really occur – pubic transport was the key. My back was still in bits, so when I did walk, it wasn’t far.  I was also 6 years older than when I’d been pregnant before.

It took a long, long time before I hit that “I can no longer continue like this” and for me, it wasn’t my weight but my health. (you all know the story, I’ve gone through it a few times on here)

I knew I wanted to take photos before I started back at the gym. I knew I did.  I tentatively perched my phone on the windowsill & set the self timer. I didn’t show them to anyone.  A month later I took another set of photos; that was now my “starting” image; until I made this blog & stumbled across the image looking for something else.

I hated that photo. Well, photos. As there is a back, front & side views.  I was genuinely mortified.

Here’s a profile montage from when I first started up to a few weeks ago:

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Andy told me the  starting image was a reminder of how far I’ve come, & although I agreed with him; I still hated seeing it. I don’t now. I’m not overly sure how I’ve managed to stop loathing it – also, I know….can we get a moment’s silence for the boobies lost?  *moment*

Yeah, so I stitched a photo together for xxfitness, this is it:

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This.  This is when I realised I no longer hate my befores.  I fucking did that. I did that to myself & I fixed it! I love, love, love that image of the right.  I’m responsible for my body & I moaned and bitched about it for years, not doing anything about it – expecting it to change….it did but not the way I wanted.

The gym is an incredible place.  I have new friends & peers, I have a new found love of food, I have new knowledge & discovered a passion I didn’t know existed.

I’m no longer as angry as I once was. I have more energy & am in less pain.  I once looked like my before & I no longer do.  I don’t have wings, but goddamnit I am a motherfucking butterfly!

 

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Either You Do It, Or You Don’t.

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Well, today has been a rest day BUT a rest day like no other!  Today, despite my thighs screaming at me every time I move (can I get a “Hell Yeah!” for walking lunges??) I decided to do a few standard squats at home. I took pictures.  Wanna see?

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So, first thing about this, image on the left is the first squat I did, image on the right is how I corrected it.  I also noticed today I do this little foot wiggle before I squat; I should film it & show you on day.

I don’t normally notice stuff like this as my PT corrects me, so had I not have taken the picture I’d have not noticed and continued with my little set in the incorrect form. There’s some conflicting info on-line; some say “Do It & Do It Properly” and others say “Doing it badly, is better than not at all” So, which is it?  Or could it be both?

Begin, but it might be wrong.  That’s okay because as you get fitter, you get better & you do it properly?

I’d have to choose do it right, or don’t do it, especially seeing as how I’m still in the process of strengthening my core; they have to be correct or I could quite probably hurt myself.

So!  FORM CHECK! Make sure your move is correct before you continue.  If you’re in the gym, go with a buddy if you’re without a trainer, or use the mirrors – be a narcissist! Watch yourself in the mirror (Be careful of joins in the glass though, one of those can be off-putting if they’re not flush to the wall) if you’re unsure, Google the correct posture for whatever move it may be. Photograph or film it & adjust as necessary.

Doing it right all the time also stops you from picking up bad habits, like as we grow we forget about squats but toddlers can do them so well!

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My youngest making it look easy in Spring 2011

It’d probably be hard to remember it for your entire life though.  Clearly something happens to children for them to forget this.  It is school? Is it?  I don’t know & I’m not up for debating that!