It’s been a very long time since I blogged & I honestly wondered if I ever would again, but here we are. That’s my “I’m back” bit out of the way. On with the post…….
Relationships are weird, none moreso than the one you have with your own body. I doubt that there are many people out there that are 100% happy with what they see in the mirror. If you are, well done. If you’re not, you’re not alone but that doesn’t mean you cannot be proud of what your body can do. Pride in your meatsuit is different to being happy in it. You can be proud of the local sportsball team if they do well, you don’t have to be a loyal, supportive fan to feel this way.
How many of you instantly began to think about what you could change about yourself just by reading the above paragraph? Smaller waist, higher butt, bigger….eyes. There’s nothing wrong with wanting some changes, nothing at all. The issue is that we’re made to feel bad about it…..or we’re embarrassed by it. Think about it, you go to try on a new shirt & it doesn’t fit the way you expected, you check the tag & it *is* your size – immediately, you’re horrified. The shame gathers in the pit of your stomach & you regret eating, anything, ever. What if the garment was cut slightly smaller? I mean, there’s no way for you to know, but it could be clothing error & not your meatsuit. You’re mortified, put the shirt back & wonder how long you can live without food for.
I have a point, or a point I want to add but I’m trying to figure out where to put it…..
My earliest memories of women are….somewhat odd. Like, I’d look through magazines & see these creatures that looked like no one I’d ever seen in real life. My mother didn’t look like that, none of her friends did either – I now know that those women were airbrushed & in the 90’s there was a huge issue around supermodels being extremely gaunt & the worrisome message it sent to young, impressionable girls. Anyhooooooooooooo…….
What I remember vividly was Rosemary Conley. If you’ve not heard of her, she rose to fame in the late 80’s after losing weight through changing her diet & decided to create a book, which involved low-fat recipes & lots of pictures of aerobic exercises. I remember looking through the book & studying the pictures. I also remember being banished from the living room while my mother did her exercises – the door was closed & no one was allowed in. I always wanted to join in. I didn’t understand why it had to be behind closed doors.
I want to know “when” it happens. When did you decide that your size is shameful? That you don’t want people watching you exercise? If you’ve never been in a gym, let me tell you…. no one is watching you as they’re too busy doing their thing to pay attention to others. I’ve heard, from so many different people that the don’t have the confidence to go to a gym, or to train on their own…..or to lift on their own. What do you do on your own & how did you get the confidence to do that thing alone? I want you to think about it, really think & try to pinpoint where you stopped believing that you could.
“It is a shame for a woman to grow old without ever seeing the strength and beauty of which her body is capable.”
Think about the strong women in your life – not just physically strong, but the ones that make you think “I wish I could do….” instead of wishing, start believing that you can. You don’t have to go from A-Z instantly, you can take your time…a, b, c, d etc. For me, as an example when I first started going to the gym, I had a trainer & he gave me things to do in sessions without him, so I *had* to go in & do the thing in-between our training times. On my own, I tended to focus on accessory work & did the big lifts under supervision, but people move on & I eventually had to train on my own. Deadlift on my own. Squat on my own, etc. It wasn’t about confidence about going to lift in a gym full of blokes. It was more about “I need to do this, for me” Plus, what others think of me has never been high up in my thoughts. As long as I tolerate me & what I do, no one else really matters. That’s not confidence, that’s reality. If you’re doing something because you’re worried about how others perceive you, then you’re doing it for the wrong reasons.